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A Principals' Letter

Bainbridge Principal Takes a Stand

This letter was sent to parents by Brent Peterson, principal of Bainbridge High School, in September 2003 after the loss of a student to suicide. He also included a letter from parents of another youth (below). We applaud these efforts to spread the word about signs of depression and steps that youth and others may take to help prevent suicide in their community.

Dear Parents,

As the new principal at Bainbridge High School I would much prefer to have my first letter to all parents focus on a "good news story." Certainly we do have much news to be pleased about in our school community. Great students, amazing parent involvement in our schools, extremely high student participation in extra-curricular activities, high test scores, the list goes on. However, I am compelled to communicate with you at this particular moment in time regarding the issue of youth mental health disorders.

Our community, like every community across this state and across the nation, currently faces extremely challenging mental health issues among our student population. Stress, anxiety, depression, "self-medication", and suicide are all issues right here on Bainbridge Island. During the last two years our school community has been touched by three suicides. If you extend the geographic boundaries to include the North Kitsap School District, the number increases to five. As tragic as these specific incidents have been, the nature of the youth mental health issues in our community touch a much larger population of our students than those who had friendships with the youth who are no longer with us.

At Bainbridge High School we are taking this challenge very seriously and invite you to join us in our efforts to provide better systems of support for our students and ourselves.

What are we doing? What more can we do? Initially, awareness and communication are key issues. Attached to this letter is an extremely powerful "parent to parent" letter shared with us by parents in our community who have been touched very directly by the challenges of youth mental health disorders. In addition to the specific suggestions to parents shared in the letter, it is hoped that the distribution of this information to all BHS parents will challenge all of us to reflect on this topic, talk to our children about the challenges of growing up in our community and talk to one another about how we can work to have a positive impact on the quality of support that is available to anyone who is faced with challenging mental health issues.

Here at Bainbridge High School we are working to build on past and current efforts to strengthen our student support systems, we are networking with local and regional resources, and we are partnering with individuals and organizations in our community to increase awareness of this issue and provide forums for discussion and dialogue. We will be scheduling specific student activities later this fall that will hopefully communicate support to our students and increase the level of dialogue between students, staff and parents in this area. In addition, we are currently working with school district leaders and community leaders to initiate a series of community events that will include a specific focus on youth mental health issues.

I do believe we can make a difference. I invite you to join us in this important endeavor. I also encourage you to contact any of our school administrators, counselors or our school nurse if your family is currently struggling with any level of mental health issue involving your student.

Sincerely,
Brent Peterson
Principal, Bainbridge High School

The following is information for recognizing mental health problems in your teenager.

In the two years since we lost our son Garth to suicide, we have learned a lot about adolescent mental health problems. At the time of his death, we thought he was doing fairly well - pretty good grades, on the tennis team, daily workouts at the gym, had several good friends, and no signs of-drug or alcohol use. We knew he was emotionally fragile, had low self esteem, and problems with mood swings, but what we didn't realize was how lethal these symptoms could be, didn't see how his problems added up to a very dangerous situation.

In adolescents, mood disorders manifest somewhat differently than in adults and it is difficult to tell what the normal ups and downs of the teen years are from real mental illness. Some signs to look for are:

• Frequent irritability for no apparent reason
• Negative self image
• Preoccupation with death in books, movies, and music
• Sleeping too much or too little
• Pessimism, moodiness, and withdrawal
• Abnormal mood swings
• Giving away prize possessions
• A drop in grades
• Inattention to appearance
• Extreme sensitivity to rejection or failure
• Chronic worry or guilt
• Talk of suicide or suicide attempts

Not all these signs may be present. Any of them combined with drug or alcohol use and/or access to firearms needs to be taken very seriously. Also, if there are mental health problems or a history of suicide in your family, you and your children are at a higher risk, as these problems are thought to be hereditary.

Now we have lost another beautiful young man to suicide - the third Bainbridge boy in two years, the fifth if you count the two young men from NKHS - and another family is left behind to agonize over why and what more they could have done to prevent their child's death. I believe that we as parents need to educate ourselves about the warning signs of mental health problems in our teens and the very real danger of those problems, but we also need to try and emphasize to our kids, especially our boys, about this danger and the false, distorted thinking it creates. Boys are seven times more likely to die by suicide than girls. Why? Between the stigma surrounding mental illness and the pervasive culture that tells boys it's not ok to reach out to friends and family with emotional problems, we have painted them into a comer. Mental health problems need to be recognized as the real, medical disorders that they are, not just character flaws to be overcome, and treated as such by all involved.

I would urge any parent who has even the smallest inkling that their child is struggling with any mood disorder to take these steps:

• SHOW YOU CARE by telling them that you love them and are concerned about their mental health.
• ASK THE QUESTION - "are you thinking of hurting yourself / of suicide?" Don't be afraid to raise the question of suicide; a very direct approach is best for obtaining a truthful answer.
• GET HELP - a therapist who specializes in working with adolescents, if you feel that the situation isn't critical or I-800-SUICIDE or the local emergency room if you feel that it is. Don't think you can handle this by yourself by just talking about it to your child; that was our mistake and it cost us our son.

We can help stem this tide of youth suicide by educating ourselves, our kids, and our community about depression and other mental health disorders, their signs, and what action to take. By recognizing it as a public health crisis, which it most assuredly is in Kitsap County right now, we can hope to eliminate suicide as an option for dealing with life's problems in the minds of our kids.

Leigh and Jonathan Manheim